Becoming an empty nester is a major adjustment for any parent, and the transition can feel even more jarring if your child moves far away. Suddenly, your kid is no longer a few rooms, blocks, or a short drive away. While you are proud of their independence, the distance can feel overwhelming.
We are here to help you adapt to this new chapter and view it as a unique opportunity to build a different kind of relationship. Read on for tips on managing distance with your adult children who live far away.
Check In With Them Often
The most important thing to do to maintain your relationship is to keep in touch, and living in the 21st century has made this easier than ever before. Just try to stick to a schedule that is easy for both you and your kid to stick to.
You might agree on a Sunday evening video call, a quick Wednesday lunch chat, or a monthly long-distance movie night where you watch the same film simultaneously. Having quality time on the calendar gives you both something to look forward to, and it relieves the anxiety of wondering when you will hear from them next.
Keep the Guest Room Ready
Nothing beats seeing your child in person. And even though the distance means you see them less often, they’ll still visit, especially if you keep your home ready for them. You want them to feel like they still have a space that belongs to them.
You could keep a drawer empty for their things, stock the pantry with their favorite snacks, and always have fresh linens ready. And if you’ve downsized or repurposed their old room, you can transform your small guest room with a Murphy bed. This ensures they always have a bed at yours while maximizing your home’s space when they aren’t there.
Share Small Moments Digitally
You don’t need a scheduled call to share your life with your child. Sending small updates via text will involve you in their life in small yet meaningful ways.
Maybe you send a picture of the dog sleeping, a recipe you think they would like, a link to an interesting article, or whatever else is meaningful to you. These little digital “touches” keep the connection alive without demanding a lot of time or energy from either of your schedules.
Respect Their Independence
Your child is building their own life, which includes new responsibilities, friendships, relationships, and work commitments. Respecting their independence—even though it’s happening so far away from you—is so important for cultivating a healthy adult relationship with them.
Unsolicited advice or guilt trips about not calling enough will push them away. Instead, trust the values you instilled in them. Your respect builds trust and makes them more likely to come to you when they genuinely need support.
Distance changes the logistics of a relationship, but it does not have to weaken the bond. By keeping communication open and being available to their needs, you can successfully and respectfully manage distance with your adult children who live far away. You will build a mature friendship that can span any number of miles.