Congratulations! You and your partner are taking a massive step in your relationship by moving in together. It’s a moment filled with excitement, maybe a little bit of anxiety, and a whole lot of questions. What if their decorating taste is stuck in the early 2000s? Whose posters get prime real estate in the living room? And where are you going to put all those books, plants, and thrift store finds you’ve both collected?
This queer couple’s guide to moving in together is here to help you navigate this new chapter. We’ll cover everything from the practical logistics of merging your lives to the emotional conversations you need to have. Let’s get you both moved in and stronger in your relationship than ever before.
Talk About Money, Honey
Before you even think about packing a single box, it’s crucial to have a serious conversation about finances. Money talk can feel awkward, but getting on the same page now prevents some potential arguments and hard feelings later.
Discuss how you’ll split rent, utilities, groceries, and other shared expenses. Will you go 50/50, or will you contribute based on a percentage of your incomes? Moreover, it’s a good idea to create a shared budget that accounts for everything from date nights to that fabulous new couch you’ve been eyeing. Setting these expectations early creates a solid foundation for your new life together.
Initiate a Purge
You both have stuff. Probably, a lot of stuff. Merging two households into one means you’re going to have duplicates of nearly everything. But do you really need two air fryers, four sets of mismatched plates, two slightly broken coffee makers, and that questionable art piece?
Now is the time for The Great Purge. Go through your belongings together and decide what to keep, what to donate, and what to toss. This process is a fantastic exercise in compromise and helps you collectively define the style of your new shared home.
Design Your Shared Space
Speaking of style, decorating your first place together is a huge opportunity to blend your personalities. You might love a minimalist aesthetic, but your partner is a maximalist at heart. How do you find a middle ground?
Create a Mood Board
Start by creating a shared Pinterest board or a physical mood board. Pin images of furniture, color schemes, decor items, and overall vibes that you both like. This visual exercise will help you identify overlapping tastes and find a design direction that feels authentic to both of you. It’s a fun, collaborative way to envision your future home.
Handle the Logistics
With the emotional and financial groundwork laid, it’s time to tackle the actual move. This part can be stressful, so planning is your best friend. Create a detailed moving timeline, assign specific tasks to each person, and decide whether you’ll DIY the move with friends or hire professionals. If you choose the latter, do your research to learn what a full-service moving contract should contain. Additionally, make a list of everything you need to do, such as these tasks:
- forwarding your mail
- updating your addresses on all accounts
- setting up utilities
- packing an “essentials” box for the first night
Keep the Communication Flowing
Moving in together marks a beautiful new phase, but it also changes the dynamic of your relationship. Therefore, our last tip in this guide for queer couples is you must continue to communicate openly and honestly. Set aside time for regular check-ins to discuss how you’re adjusting. Remember to celebrate the small moments, be patient with each other, and keep nurturing the love that brought you here in the first place. You got this!