Supporting someone through recovery can feel like a lot. Walking that line between being there and being overbearing is tricky, and navigating the ups and downs of recovery as an observer is not something everyone has experience with. But when your friend’s world feels unsteady, you can be a solid foundation for them. Especially within our queer community, where chosen families matter so much, knowing how to show up for a friend in recovery is a powerful thing.
This guide is here to help you lend a hand without stepping on toes or overextending yourself. Let’s talk about it!
Respect Their Boundaries (and Set Your Own)
Recovery often comes with new boundaries, and they’re not negotiable. Whether it’s skipping nights at the bar or needing some quiet time, respect what they ask for. Boundaries aren’t about taking things away from you; they’re about protecting their progress.
It’s also worth noting that you may need to set your own boundaries. Don’t let your desire to be a good friend create a path for them to be a bad one. Recovery is complex, and it can lead many people to say and do things that injure their relationships with others. Arm yourself with understanding and empathy, then communicate your own needs throughout this process.
Offer Practical Support
Actions always speak louder than words, especially when recovery can feel like running a marathon. You can help with small things that take the weight off their shoulders, like offering rides to appointments or cooking something comforting. Giving support this way can help without putting pressure on them to explain what they need all the time.
Communication Tip
Instead of asking what they need, suggest specific tasks you are willing to help them with. This way, they have a clear idea of what they can depend on you for and will feel less pressure to come up with opportunities for you step in.
Know When To Hold Back on Advice
Even if your intentions are golden, pressing your opinions too much won’t help. A personalized addiction treatment plan can be an important tool for those in recovery, so don’t jump to conclusions if their process doesn’t align with what you think they need to do. Your suggestions can be helpful, especially if you have experience with addiction—however, there is a time and a place for advice.
Celebrate Their Wins, Big and Small
Progress is progress, no matter how small it might look from the outside. Maybe it’s their first sober party, their fifth therapy session, or a tough week finally over and done with. Celebrate with them! Especially for those of us who’ve been overlooked or dismissed, being seen and encouraged goes a long way. Make every victory something to smile about.
Stay Consistent Over Time
Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. The support they need today might look different from what they need six months from now. By staying present and checking in consistently, you’re proving your commitment to being there.
Keep Showing Up
Navigating recovery can be lonely, but you have the opportunity to be a steady, loving presence. When things feel heavy, remember that simply showing up matters. Whether it’s a text on a hard day or a FaceTime call to share memes, you’re helping more than you know.
Knowing how to show up for a friend in recovery isn’t about becoming a professional therapist; it’s about being genuine. Be patient, and put in an effort. Recovery might be their mountain to climb, but you can be right there to cheer them on.